I think you handled the conversation quite well. I do believe he is telling you the truth when he said he was liking his own space and learning to do things for himself. Spending alone time is very important to them and this is good if he's doing it.
As for the ow, leave her out of future conversations. She's really and truly nothing more than a band aid to his pain at the moment. She's nothing more than a distraction.
I am glad the two of you were able to sit down and have a good talk. As for breaking the DB rules, I don't see it. You took the tools that you've been given and applied them to your situation in the way that you saw fit. At least now you can feel a bit better about things and find some peace and comfort in knowing that the great companionship is still there. Continue being a friend and a good listener. He needs to feel safe when he talks to you. No pressure or reminders of what he's done or hasn't done. Treat him as a friend for now.
I'm glad your girlfriend is coming to town and will visit w/you. God has a way of sending people our way when we need them the most.
Last edited by job; 03/17/1901:03 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.