Quote: I think I am doing a good job dbing, except for the detaching part, I think about us 24/7, even when I am trying to occupy my time doing other stuff.
You are doing a great job at DBing. And as hard as it is at detaching (that is one thing I can't grasp. Maybe I am not looking at it form a begirns mind.) I belive that it is normal to think about your R 24/7. (Or in my case it seems normal. I even think about it when me and H are together,talking with friends.) The trick I think is to see when your thinking is getting in the way of life. Then do your best to stop it.
Quote: He told me that his mom didn't like the purse he bought her. He said he is a terrible shopper, that he missed me shopping with him. He said he went alone to the mall. (thank god I didn't accuse him of shopping with her for the gifts!) I told him that I went shopping alone today too, that I saw some stuff he would love, maybe we could go back together one day.
I am so praod of you. I know how had it is to want to throw something like thinking he was out with her in his face: and not do it. And telling H that you seen some stuff he would like and sugguesting that yall go back together to get it is great DBing in my book. It shows that you want to spend time together with him and that you do think of him (but it is not in a presurring way as it would be if you bought the stuff for him.)
Quote: Then he told me he was going out again tonight (tommorow is a holiday here). I got mad, couldn't help it and tried to leave the shower.
Have you tried to go out with him. When he says he is going out have you tried to tag along. Maybe that is something that yall can do to reconect with each other.
Quote: He said he wished we didn't have these problems. I said me too. He told me that he needs to work some stuff out, that he doesn't know, maybe something will happen for us????? I said okay, didn't push or ask what the hell he was talking about.
Another great DB move and a great baby step. It seems like he is thinking alot about your sitch.
Quote: He told me that he doesn't plan on staying out all night (good sign, but no expectations). I hope that they don't make up again tonight (3rd time this week alone). I find that I can't detach from him yet, but I now ASSume that he is always with her, then when I find out he isn't I get a pleasant surprise instead of assuming he is NOT with her, and then getting angry when I find out he was. I know that I need to not care either way, but it is too hard right now.
So when he is drunk, he fights with her, tells me that he wants me. When he is off his meds, fights with her and he misses me. Hmmm....well time will tell I guess....
Honey, I hate to say this but I think you are on one biga** rollercoaster. At least until his doc, finds the right treament to his depreesion. But it is a good sign I think that no matter on or off the meds, H still wants you.
Just keep a tight grip don't let go. And keep up the great work on DBing.
