Quote: How do you expect to get back into my heart when you act like this?
(WTF??? he tells me that I should forget about him, tells me to let him go, that we are going to end up divorced, etc... Then he talks about me getting back into his heart???)
He is so f&(*&(ed up, I didn't point this out to him, I know from this board that I need to weed out the garbage, and listen to what he is really saying. I know he is still not convinced he wants to leave me:
Weeding out the garbage is one of the hardest things to do. Just remeber that is something you have to keep doing. If he isn't convinced he wants to leave you. Just keep working on yourself, and show him the woman that he fell in love with.
Quote: Then he talked to me, started blaming me for talking to her. I told him that I didn't talk to her, that he can't blame me if his family reacts with dissapproval, what did he expect? He is committing adultery. Then he said that everyone thinks that he is the bad one, that he is to blame for everything. I told him that he is NOT to blame for our problems in the marriage, that it is 50/50, but what he is doing now is his fault, and that we already discussed and agreed on this. I told him that he should talk to his mom and tell her why this is happening if he thinks he is being unfairly judged. He said no.
you done the right thing of letting him know that he is not 100% to blame but is to blame for his 50. (Someone made a post about that. I wished I booked moarked it. It is worth going and rereading) He more in likly dosen't want to talk to his mom because he sees where he messed up. And dosen't want it thrown back in his face.
Quote: I was right, OW called him in the morning, then he asked me what he told me last night. I told him, then he said that they just had a fight. That he was drunk. I said okay. Then he intiated ML, we ended up doing it 3 times throughout the afternoon. He asked me if I didn't mind that he was with OW the night before while we were ML, I actually stopped and told him not to talk like that while we were ML. Then he admitted that OW has no idea that we still ML.
((((Loveforever)))) You are such a strong person. There is no way I could have handle that. No matter how much I want to ML to my H, having H say that would kill me. So rember what dosen't kill us makes us stronger, And he has amdit that she doesn't know about yall ML so he is lying to her. Really a great sign that it's not going to last between theam.
Quote: We had a good day at a kid's birthday party. He was kissing me and actually dipped me out of the blue when we were listening to some kids tunes. I played along and was not shy or embarassed by his affection in public. This was a sore point in our R - he felt that I was ashamed to be seen with him or something. An old friend came over and told me that I look amazing, that I changed so much. I know that H liked to hear that. H also started taking pictures of me on the camera instead of the kids. He kept saying I looked so hot.
Great job. keep working on the little things like that and show him instead of trying to tell him.
Quote: Then he admitted that he did NOT have sex with OW last night. I asked him why he lied and tried to make me think that he did? He said he just didn't want me to think that things were okay between me and him. I said you don't have to be cruel, I am VERY aware of our sitch. He apoligized.
Try to look at it as you are doing db so good he has nothing to complain about, and when people or hurt and confussed they lash out. Rember to weed the garbage out of your garden of love. (God that sounds so corny but it fits so great)
Quote: learned that my validating was working since he told his mom I said sorry for my mistakes. (I've said sorry many times, but I don't think he ever really HEARD me before) I learned that he responds very well to my returning his affection in public. I learned that he still very angry and resentful towards me. I learned that when he says hurtful things to me, not to react because it is his way of saying that he is still mad at me for the past. I learned that the more I flirt and look sexy, the more he can't keep his hands off of me. I learned that he is lying to OW, has been right from the beginning. ( how I wish she could find out, but not from me)
They have had 2 fights this week alone, I hope it keeps up, maybe she will get fed up with him. In the meantime, I have to detach from him, but still get closer to him. Very difficult to find the balance. I need to ignore his mean comments cause I know that he is trying to get back at me for the past (very immature, but whatever).
You are on a great roll just keep with the DBing and watch out Ow and the world. Just keep doing the little things that workes and don't go back to those cheesless tunals.
