Just wanted to say you have to forgive yourself for what you did wrong in the marriage. I have done what you are doing there, where you're hyper focused on your mistakes. I don't think he is as focused on his mistakes though.
You're very worried about him and how he'll handle you taking a trip. You're afraid that it may push him away, and I get that... Just be strong, confident, happy Alison. Be that girl who can do anything! Your trip is about you. If your H has to watch the kids for a few days he will be fine, I promise you. And then remember: he is already gone. What's dead cannot die again, right? So maybe that will help you worry less about how he is going to react. Do you imagine that he was this concerned about how you would feel when he began his affair? Let that help you detach too!
I think him talking about how he needs to concentrate on work for months is just his way of keeping you right where he wants you. Meek little Alison, working around her H, doing what he needs her to do so that his life is easy peasy. I see a lot of expectations and mind reading from you. This doesn't mean you're a horrible person, but it is an area where you can improve! He is all over the place too! Don't believe anything he's telling you.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
