Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[joejoe1]

Everything you do is for you and not to enact a reaction from your WW. You have to take the focus off of her.

Ok......You are now building your own house. And you are building it to protect you. Your W can't get in unless you let her in. She will see your strong house and wonder what's going on, so she will knock on the door to try and get you too come out. If that does not work, she will ask to come inside. She will try to get you to come out of this new house, using all kind of tempting tactics. All those attempts are called temp checking. If you come out of that house, your whole house will crumble and you will have to start building from the ground again. Where she's at in life, she doesn't care about your house, she only care about herself. Her getting in your new house of getting you to come out is all about knowing what's going on and keeping you in the place that makes her feel the most comfortable. When you stop looking out your window to see if she's interested, the faster you will heal.

This is your journey alone, you cant take your WW on it. We all know you will try, because we have done and been in that same position and frame of mind as you. But, the only thing that has ever worked was letting go and moving forward for all of us.

Letting go does not mean giving up. Letting go, is dropping the expectations of winning your WW back, and trying to control the outcome. Once you realize, the only thing you can control is yourself and you start acting in a manner that shows you can only control yourself, the faster your healing will take place.