I do not think it would be unfair to enter into a relationship - not necessarily. Only you know if you can put your love for your W in a safe box and tuck it in your mental attic for safe keeping and the occasional peek. That might continue to evolve. I do feel for myself it would be unfair, but I'm still quite raw in my hurt. Your situation has been longer than mine, so you may be at more of a point where you feel you need to make a decision for yourself.
It is stressful, I agree. I suppose that's why the "day by day" mentality is helpful to me. It removes the pressure when the stress becomes too much or when I'm trying to read the tea leaves.
A lot of people use anger as the catalyst to detaching. With a kind WAW I don't have anything for me to hit back to make myself feel justified. There's nothing to fight. I suspect my letting go period will be very long, but hopefully healthy. I don't want to make a home for hatred or bitterness, so I try to move forward carefully. I check in with my emotions daily to ask what triggered them and if they are authentic. I find naming the emotion out loud to be incredibly helpful. It's amazing how much less power "fear" or "lonely" has when you say outloud "I am feeling afraid" or "I am feeling lonely".
