I really wished I knew what to tell you to do. For our stich is closer yet worlds apart. You are welcome to my opions. (As my H would say I think everyone should have my opions that why I share the all the time )
If I was you I would try to post to BoldNBeutiful and see if she has any insight that me and you are missing. Maybe since she has been down that road she might be able to help you.
in my humble opinion:
Quote: Afterwards he asked me again why I still ML with him. I told him that I love him and it feels natural to me.
I would have to ask him why does he ML to me. (If him asking the same question over and over upset you, turn the tables.) He has to reexamine himself to for the marriage to work. Right now he doesn't want to it seems like he wants to keep a blind eye on everything. (But I belive it is only far that he should anwers his own questions)
Quote: Later that night, he told me to stay upstairs and keep an eye on our son who was sleeping, he said he wanted to do some stuff on the computer. I picked up the phone to make a call and he was talking to OW. This is the first time I heard them interact. It broke my heart, he told her that he loves her and would call her again in the morning.
I got so angry that I stormed downstairs and told him he was a F*)()*ing ASS&(*(*, he was talking to his brother and said we would discuss it later. I left the house to go for a drive. I screamed and yelled as I was driving. I really wanted to call her and tell her what she is doing to our family, that she should let him go. But I stopped myself, cried a bit then went home. I don't think she realizes what is going on, my H hinted that he is not telling her the effect of their A. Should I call her and tell her the situation?.
I acted all nice again when he came to the room, then I calmly told him not to call her from our house phone when I am there. He got angry and said that he didn't do it in front of me. I said he should use his cell phone. Then he asked me what the big deal was? I knew what was going on.
Great job on getting out and not breaking down in front of H. Just try not to cry to much while driving. Pull over if need be, just take a step back when you need to. I belive that you have every right to tell him to use his cell phone and take his talks with Ow outside or elsewhere. It is still your home.
Ican only imagine what you went tru hear him say taht to her. I want you to that I am pround of you for not going down stairs and kicking him right in the balls for that.(you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and that is prof).
Quote: I really am considering leaving home for a while, just to get away from it all. Also this will give him a chance to see what life without me is like. But I am afraid that he is so obsessed with OW, that even though he will miss me, he will occupy his time with her.
I wouldn't leave. In some states leaving if only to save your sanity for a bit. Is looked at as abonedment. And you do have your son to think of. You don't wait anything to jepodized your changes on that issue.
Quote: This is one thing I am confused about in regards to D'bing. It says to be happy and act as if. But when I do this he seems to think I am okay with everything, and he spends less time with me, and grows closer to her. Then he gets surprised when I do feel hurt or tell him that of course it bothers me that he is with OW.
That is sonething I have been trying to figure out myself. It might be something for the ones that are not so new at this to anwser. If someone lets you know please let me in on the secert too.
Quote: I am scared to do anything because it could make things worse. But I am scared not to do anything cause he could slip away for good....
Maybe going back and reading one of the books that has helped you maybe DR or whatever, will give you new insigte. Maybe we or going down a cheeseless turnel here.
Try posting to BoldNBeutiful. If I remember correctly almost40 said that ya's sitch was almost alike. Just rember to try and keep clam. And if need be, take a step back.
)
