For a while I have known that he views me as the enemy, but I don't want a pattern to emerge where something he doesn't like goes down like this each time. Part of the process? Any tips from you old-timers?
See below:
Quote
H: what did you tell S21? W: I confirmed that you moved out. H: blah blah he just crucified me W: blah blah I'm sorry he was harsh with you, it sounds like he was upset that you haven't talked to him H: I talk to him! W: Ok. I don't want to argue. end of convo.
Good! You listened and made a validation statement, then when he tried to trigger you, you excused yourself and hung up.
Quote
H: did you NOT remember me saying that I wanted to spend time with S17 when I came over today? W: No. The convo as I remember it was "..." H: I specifically said that I wanted to see him! W: Did you let him know that? H: Yes. W: I can not be responsible for you and him getting together. H: I am not asking you to! W: In the future, work out time together with him. I promise not to interfere. H: blah blah angry i told you this blah blah W: Ok thank you. I have to go
This isn't as good though. This is classic "he said (I told you xyz) she said (no you didn't)" and just does nothing but build resentment. You might have said "I'm sorry, I don't recall you saying that to me, let me know if you would like to spend some time with him this week and I will make sure I don't have plans with him and that he is aware of it." You did a decent job of not escalating though.
