I've had a brainwave. I really do want to get away. The dog is coming, and H isn't really able to commit to childcare while this project is going on - but perhaps I will book myself four days in the week or two after he finishes his project. He will be tired, yes, but you know what - so am I and he's a parent too. And it will stop me thinking that the second he signs off on his project he will be around with a bunch of flowers, and give me change to concentrate on MYSELF at that time rather than what I want from him, and perhaps it will signal to him that I am taking some time to think and put myself first and not just hanging about waiting for what he wants.
I won't discuss this with him today - but perhaps after the weekend when I am steadier I can see if the date would work. The kids will still be in school so all he will need to do is breakfasts, teas, bedtimes and school runs, and I've been doing those pretty much on my own since Jan.
