It is difficult because Eldest is sometimes a bit challenging with me, but in ways I'd consider usual teenage antics, and it doesn't bother me too much. He really does direct a lot of this behaviour towards H. And H feels blamed, belittled, disrespected, etc etc etc but has never - to my understanding - wondered if his own parenting approach might need adapting for better results. I've decided to say nothing at all about his parenting, my opinions about that, or to act as any kind of go-between at all. Therapist will make her own recommendations and I did like her and trust her so I am keeping as open a mind as I can.
Feel a bit sad tonight. Weekend approaching. No more dates planned, and I have not asked for any. I have GAL - a trip away planned which is partly work but also involves some fun. H knows I am going to be away but has asked nothing about where or when or when I will be back or anything like that. I'd hoped he might have asked for a date, even though the last one was so disastrous, and I have ideas of what I might suggest if he reaches out for another one, but it is important to me that he reach out. I can't do all the chasing here.
I wonder if I am doing too much? I don't want to drop the rope - one of his complaints is that I did not support him, and that has merit. He has asked for support, so I want to do a 180 on that without chasing. I sent encouraging texts and received cordial reply. He has started to ask questions about my day, which is new. I answer briefly and don't go into too much detail. I don't know how long I should keep this up before I stop - given the fact he doesn't initiate any texts himself and has only done goodnight text messages once. It is early days, I know.
I think perhaps I will just keep things going calmly like this until this therapy session towards the end of the month, and take the opportunity in that session just to listen, then take some time afterwards to have a think and see how I feel then. Does that sound reasonable?
