Yesterday after work, I got home and he told me he wanted to go get an oil change for the second car that I got. He told me he would come with me the first time, then I can take it by myself after. I said sure and thank you. While we were there, he filled out the info form for me, when he was writing my name, it asked for 'mr', 'mrs.', or 'ms'. He asked me which one to put. I said 'ms.' He said okay, cause I am not a 'mrs'. anymore. I said yes I am, but that it was none of the store's business, and that 'ms.' was the equivalant to 'mr.' He said that it didn't matter anyways, since I wasn't a 'mrs.' anymore. I got pissed and said, 'I don't remember signing any divorce papers, do you? I know it was bad to say but he was deliberately trying to piss me off. He didn't reply but then looked at my rings and asked me if I was going to to give them back to him? I said no, he asked if I wanted his back? I said sure, since you don't wear it, I might as well sell it and get some cash for it.

Totally immature conversation, I have to remember not to let him push my buttons. I have realized that when he is acting like this, he is angry inside - that could be a good thing, last time he acted like this was a week ago when he was breaking up with OW. I stopped that line of conversation and started reading the paper. He asked me what was wrong? I said nothing, he insisted on knowing, so I just told him that I was sad cause I was going to miss him.

I was going to talk to him about OW, and the money and time he wasted on her (it's part of our agreement that he stops spending cash on her until our debt is paid off, also that he should spend more time with our son instead of OW) But I didn't bring it up. I am going to try not to talk about OW at all unless he brings her up. I need to back off again, and stop pressuring him.

At night he told me to move from the couch, cause afterall, it's his bed. I said okay, got up and went to the room. He came in, changed and walked back out to the couch. I told him that I was going to sleep and I would wake him in the morning for work. I didn't act sad or mad that he was on the couch.

During the night he came to the room and we cuddled until morning. He wasn't very talkative, however he did mention that I should give out my brother's wedding invitations to the rest of his family (they have been sitting on the table- since I don't know where we will stand in 2 months I haven't given them out to the rest of his family - he says that maybe just the 2 of us should go - my family has no idea what is going on, and he agreed to pretend until after the wedding) I said okay, and just acted like nothing was wrong and when I went to kiss him goodbye, he gave me his cheek.

Backsliding:

- I threw the fact that he hasn't actually filed any papers in his face.

- he started off the night on the couch again

- he didn't kiss me goodbye.

positives

- he came back to the bed in the morning and cuddled.

- he told me to give out the invites to everyone.

- he didn't pull away for the kiss, just gave me his cheek.


I think this behaviour is due to my catching him with OW 2 days ago. (backslide)
Or it could be because he is breaking up with OW but needs to let me know that things are not okay between us.
Or he could be angry at himself for continuing to need me, even though he says he doesn't. I guess I can't really know his motivations, all I can do is wait and see. I have to remember not to let him goad me into a fight.

But, what do I say when he makes comments about me and him being apart in the future - I know I shouldn't get angry, but do I let him see my sadness? Or do I act like I don't care? It's not like he says it in nice ways or as R conversation- he says it sarcastically, or matter of fact like it's a done deal.