I keep falling into the habit of getting suckered into an R talk on the weekends. I've stated that I won't stop her but I feel like these things can be worked out, and worked on.
UGH. Quit saying stuff like that. Just LISTEN and VALIDATE. Do not beg/ plead/ reason/ negotiate/ explain. "I need to find someone who respects me blah blah blah" "I can understand why you feel that way, you've been through some difficult times." Anything else is PRESSURE and you need to remove all pressure!
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She's more interested in getting on with her life.
Yes, so she thinks. They all say that crap.
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This weekend she said that it is her goal to be happy, and find a relationship with someone that respects her, in which I replied calmly. "Yeah i thing i am definitely done at this point."
Do you see what you did there? Completely ignored her and made it all about YOU instead. Stop it. Your only job is to listen and validate.
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I've stopped pursuing, responding to her texts, and ignoring any child care criticisms from her in person, If I am out late for some reason I'm out late and she asks if I'm okay? which I just reply with Yes or yup. Am I being rude by limiting contact like this?
Well it's rude to have a baby at home and just not do your part to raise it. Don't just stay out late every night and think that's GAL'ing. That's irresponsible. If you want to stay out late then make arrangements with her in advance.
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I am at point now between vaciliating between letting her go, and just hanging back and working on me.
Well there's "letting her go" as in give her time and space which is what you should be doing. And then there's "letting her go" as in pursue D, which you are not ready for having only been here 2 months.
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Back to my question on LRT. What is considered pulling back too far? Like completely ignoring unless asked a direct question? Do I want to appear as distant, and slightly cold but still polite and courteous? I mean it is after all what she is doing.
Read Sandi's rules every single day if not several times a day. They are your template on LRT.
