“Every great story on the planet happened when someone decided not to give up, but kept going no matter what.” Spryte Loriano
RR, I am all for you not giving up. Just so you know that if you were to separate that doesn't necessarily mean you were giving up. What I do know is if you keep doing what you are doing you are more then likely going to keep getting what you've been getting.
Now correct me if I am wrong, but in your sitch you guys seem to get along great, do things together, watch shows together and then at some point you will initiate or bring up intimacy. She will reject you and then you distance yourself from her. In the past she has indicated that she thought you only wanted her for sex and in essence when you distance yourself from her you are just proving her point. Again now correct me if I am wrong here.
I have personal experience in trying to soften a harden heart and have come to the conclusion that in MOST cases time and space are the only thing that can accomplish this task. With time people in general tend to remember the good times as opposed to the bad times. In time most people realize the grass is not greener on the other side.
One of the factors that is keeping me from saying that you she definitely separate is your ages. If you were 10 years younger I would say it was your best option. It's very uncommon to see people here on this board in their mid 50's. Mainly because I believe at that point most people are just looking for security and companionship and have accepted that their partners are who they are and will not change.
Lastly, I have always encouraged you to have a loving conversation with your wife letting her know that you will not live in a sexless marriage and that she has a choice on whether she wants to stay together and work on it. I know you have indicated that you did that but you left the consequences unclear and open. For it to be effective you have to clearly state your terms (boundary) and if your terms are rejected the consequences start immediately. You pursue a separation/divorce. The key is it can't be a threat you have to act on it. You HAVE to be willing to walk because I am guessing you won't get the answer you want and she will test you.
