As much as I dislike your ex, your reaction was defensive and I don’t think she is trying to tell you have to parent. I agree with fly solo. She’s leaving her kids and she is feeling anxiety and wants to straighten everything out in her head. Also, it’s coparwbting a conversation you probably would have had if you were together. Sure, it’s “her fault” she will be away from the kids, but she still has that mom thing going on where she isn’t with her kids, even if it’s with the dad, who can handle it.
She still affects you greatly. She can see it too. I know how hard it is. You just need to be less reactionary.
