I was doing well yesterday. I didn't call him once at work, then when I got home I was friendly and cheerful.
While he was in the shower, his phone was ringing constantly, I checked, it was OW. When he got out, he went to check his messages, I was standing right beside him. I heard her voice, he deleted the message without listening to it. I asked who was that? He said does it matter? Then he asked me if I found a boyfriend yet? I lost it, I started yelling at him and said I am sick of this crap etc... He grabbed me and hugged me and asked me if I wanted to go out for a couple of drinks. Totally threw me for a loop. It's like he is doing the 180's!! I said yes, I apoligized for my outburst, I told him I heard her voice and then you asked me that stupid question and I lost it. I told him to please not talk to her in front of me. He said 'how was I supposed to know it was a message from her?'
I said he was right, I was just being stupid.

Then I went to the store, while I was gone, his mom overheard him yelling on the phone, he was saying 'it's over!' She asked him who he was talking to, he didn't answer her.

Then when we went out, he was in a bad mood, I avoided any R talk and we had a good conversation about work, home, etc... Then he told me that he doesn't think things are going to work out between him and OW. BUT he doesn't think that they are going to work out for us either.

He started telling me about all the things I did that made him angry or hurt him. I told him I honestly didn't know it made him feel that way. I started to get defensive, I couldn't help it. I didn't feel like validating. In the end I told him that I was sad cause I failed in our relationship, he said we both did. I said we can't change the past, so it was no use arguing about it. He never came out and told me what was bothering him, so resentment built. I was too dumb/naive to understand the hints he was leaving.


I have to db more than ever now, I have to try to avoid doing the things that bothered him, work on improving myself so that I can be happy with or without him.

I sent him an email today, apoligizing for my errors and saying I understand how/why he feels the way he does. I told im that I hope one day we can forgive each other and try to repair the damage.

That's it for R talk unless he brings it up. Right now the OW is calling him like crazy, probably begging etc... I will back off and let her drive him away on her own - hahaha
He doesn't know I know that he is breaking up with her. I only hope it is for real this time. She no longer works in the same company, so they don't have any reason to run into each other.

fingers crossed. With her out of the way, maybe he can give us a second chance.....