So basically, I think LH19 hit the head on the nail, and thats a nice 2x4, so thank you very much.
I do indeed think you are right, and I brought it up in IC this morning. The fact that I am in a good spot, but my achilles heal seems to be that im having a difficult time with cutting the cord completely (trying to do family things etc. which in fact was not encouraged by IC either, for now).
It basically comes down to a covert contract. I apparently grow expectations when we do these things, and as long things are so "fresh", I will keep making these contracts, and when they are not fulfilled, I want to completely have her out of my life. Its an endless cycle, and the only reason to break it, is to allow myself some time for me and my kids and not make her a priority at all (I know basic stuff, but apparently hard to see inwards.)
I am doing very well with detaching in all other areas though, and I dont find where this is going anymore - I just get really worked up, when my covert contracts are breached, and I need to stop being in the environment, where these contracts can become a reality - thats my task for now.
I will go about this, with a mindset that says, be cordial, be respectful, be strong, be yourself, and dont let hatred and resentment build a foundation within me. In time everything will be better, and for now and forever, my kids are the most important.
Ex asked if it was okay for her to make contact to a few new brokers, as she wants to move on with her OM, and me and her having the house together is slowing down the separating lives process.
I answered: "That is fine." And it really is. I can't help but feel a bit in limbo as well with these 7 days in old life and 7 days away from the house. I want a new place, where I can make a fresh start for me and the kids. <-- makes sense?
/H
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
