WAS or WHAT 11

[roist]

Just dropped by to wish ye all a happy Saint Patricks day this weekend.

Just realised I never outlined my vision board either. Maybe I will soon, but it is finished and posted in the house. It is a good way to be reminded daily of objectives and wishes I have.

Luckily I have many projects/aims outside of my M because TBH that side is .....well not fun. I sometimes wish she had left, so I would not have the daily reminder of where we are at. I have mentioned before it being like a half marriage. My years of standing allow me to know I could continue for a long time. But more and more I think that "not like this".

Over the last two years I seem to come back here every now and again, to restate my same old struggle with the constraints of living like this and how much longer I will choose to do so. Within our M I am probably as much the WAS if not moreso than my W. Yet I chose to stay. That makes a huge difference, as I am not supporting something inflicted upon me but something chosen to endure. Plus it gives me insight into how the WAS feels/felt, which I confirm does explain why most leave. How they feel is horrible and anything that ends that if not only justifiable, but a must.

Our sons are hitting teenagedom and the ensuing normal battles are adding to an already unhealthy situation. But as usual I step back from the heat of battle, observe my real issues and put in place appropriate actions.

Guess I needed my safe outlet, more than I thought. Thanks for being there.

I'll raise a drink to ye all this weekend.

Best wishes