Can anyone help with a little advice? For 2 months now. Every time I come home from work. WAS has always asked me "How was my day?" After announcing everyday to S1 "Dada's home!" I always have given her a positive response about my day, no negative responses anymore. There are some days where I mix it up, stating positive things, some days where I asked her in return how her day was and mix it up a little, "Anything exciting or new about your's etc.. etc...Some days i don't even ask her how her day was at all, as it is my way of initiating LRT, and giving her space Am I wrong for not asking her or is this rude of me? Otherwise we don't talk and unless it is about S1. Otherwise I don't look her way I go about my pleasantries and my stuff, and let her do her things, unless she initiates, then i try to validate,
I keep falling into the habit of getting suckered into an R talk on the weekends. I've stated that I won't stop her but I feel like these things can be worked out, and worked on. She's more interested in getting on with her life. This weekend she said that it is her goal to be happy, and find a relationship with someone that respects her, in which I replied calmly. "Yeah i thing i am definitely done at this point." I won't have an open marriage And make sure she understood what I meant and she did. She said " If that's is what you want?
Shortly after Valentine's Day I did mention I was considering dating again, but I want to think about it. Initially she tried calling the I don't want us to date other people card to control me. so I thought why not run with it to see what response I get. But I'm not taking any action on such at all, not am not in a position to. She is well aware of that. but I think that that might have sent her over the edge to start pursuing other people. But I haven't flushed that out yet, as all that I've stopped all spying for my own sake. I don't question where she goes and she doesn't question where I go. As long as to her Freedom time is split equally between childcare whats fair to her. She has said literally everything verbatim that's in a WAW script. She texted me Monday remind me that Friday is her night out and I have to watch the baby but the weekend is all mine. A couple times that we both have the opportunity to go out I've just said " to have a good time "and left it at that . I've stopped pursuing, responding to her texts, and ignoring any child care criticisms from her in person, If I am out late for some reason I'm out late and she asks if I'm okay? which I just reply with Yes or yup. Am I being rude by limiting contact like this? I'm really not looking for a response from her but I don't want to drive the nail deeper. I'm at that point where I am before my Line in the Sand. If she starts dating other people, I am going to file first for D, starting balance of assets and liabilities sheets ready childcare custody agreements in place excetera.
But is how she responds as of currently. Three worded short sentences. I am at point now between vaciliating between letting her go, and just hanging back and working on me. I care enough to be open-minded with no expectations, but I don't want to be rude or self-sabotaging either in my behavior, nor do i want to go out of my way and pursue... I'm making plans for my life after we sell the house in 3 or 4 months, and she is doing the same. I know she has a lot of hurt from the things that I contributed to the M, but its still all about her and what I did wrong.,She has been in IC for 6 months and I am just starting. She has said on a few occasions that she don't think the marriage can be saved. She has asked me to write down the things she could have done differently. But I've held back I'm giving them to her, because it has no benefit on a relationship or R because she isn't willing work on it anymore. Its just for her own learning and self growth for future. I know I've heard it a thousand times believe none of what they say and only half of what they do.
Back to my question on LRT. What is considered pulling back too far? Like completely ignoring unless asked a direct question? Do I want to appear as distant, and slightly cold but still polite and courteous? I mean it is after all what she is doing.
