Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (3)

[Adam04]

Hey FS and lost, thanks for chiming in.

FS, Alita is a movie I’d watch. There are so many movies I want to watch on the horizon. Also Game of Thrones soon too, can’t wait! I hear you about the age difference with S11 and S6, although S11 was nice and agreed to watch How to Train A Dragon with S6.

Lost, as for happiness, that’s a tough one. I’m making the best of it, considering all things. There are some nights I toss and turn, I have bad dreams of the sitch. There’d be days I’m doing something And out of the blue I miss the old us. Thoughts just pop up from anything causing a past memory to surface. So when I have the bad dreams, the memories, the feelings, I try to move on and keep busy. I’d like to think they don’t change anything but they can, if I let them. I don’t want to dwell in the past or in sorrow so I suck it up and keep going. I don’t want to have a negative outlook on life because of this and I need to work on preventing that from happening.

Last few days I spent time with the kids individually and together. I took the little one to Chuck E. Cheese, had fun with him and dropped him at home and picked up S11 and went to play laser tag and hit the arcade. S6 too short for laser tag. That night, grilled ribeye steaks per S11 request. S6 was content with sausage and rice. W ate boudin. Then next day hung out with BIL and SIL, had lunch at a Korean bbq place. Got my fishing license. Took the kids out to fish at a park, didn’t catch anything. They did pretty good casting on their beginner rinky dink poles but the cheapo lines kept tangling up. Then kids played in the park for a while. Went to watch Captain marvel with BIL and S11. Then had dinner with the in laws and W. I was out with in laws all day so W asked if it was okay to come along. Yesterday kids and I had lunch with SIL from day before. Then went to see How to Train a dragon. Wife Ordered in last night and we made more Stove top s’mores. My SIL’s son was with us all day. He’s a teenager with Autism spectrum disorder and also has been questioning his sexual “identity” if he’s gay or not. SIL was worried that after his therapy yesterday he wouldn’t want to watch the movie with us, but after he ate with me and my sons he came around to wanting to watch it. She however ditched the movie idea saying she had later plans to go to a concert with other people so he ended up with us for the evening.

Did a few things around the house as fixed uppers and the other night the closet clothes rack came off the wall right before inspection so that will need some attention.

This weekend I’m going out to the apartment and start with the lease. Need to get it done ASAP.

I’m tired today. Feel drained.

SIL said if I ever need to talk, I can talk to her. Told her thanks for the gesture but I don’t want to discuss anything about the sitch. She said she understood and she’ll always help with the kids. S11 went to her house last night and spent a night with them.

I told my female friend from work my sitch and how I want to stand for my marriage. Appears that she understood. She tried to offer advice from her perspective and was trying to coach me on pursuit.

Not much else going on. Hope to sleep early tonight.