A familiar story with questions NINE

[SteveLW]

Again I can't speak for LH, but he and a couple of other posters are really good at asking thought-provoking questions. It gets the LBS to see the overall point for themselves, rather than force-feeding it. RR, some of the best contributors in my threads used that tactic to great effect. If they were straight-forward I might would have become defensive. By asking the right questions that got me to see for myself what they were sensing. Maybe the tactic isn't for everyone, but I greatly value LH and the other posters that do that. It is a tactic used by a lot of ICs, BTW.

Steve, are you aware that LH suggested that I leave my relationship? When asked he said he was simply stating my options. Which were not my only options.
Do you agree with this? Should I move out and see if this person comes around?

I know that is an option.

The only way I would agree with that is if YOU were done and wanted a D. I think I've even stated that before.

I don't know if I am supposed to mention him or not but I watch a lot of Dr. Phil with my W. One of the things Dr. Phil tells couples on the brink of D is: "You don't have the right to leave this marriage because you haven't done the work necessary to be able to leave it without emotional baggage and the ability to honestly say you did all you could do to save your marriage." I agree with that in totality. Those that leave a marriage prematurely are destined to fail in their next relationship. And those with kids owe it to their kids to make sure that they can honestly say they did everything they could to save the marriage.

But RR, I would support you in whatever decision you make. You have done your part. As long as you deal with the emotional connection to her I would support your decision to leave. But I also think that if you have it in you to stick it out longer that you should.

RR, I admire you my friend! Lesser men would have bailed, but you have stuck it out and continue to do so, and in my estimation that is very admirable.