Yes, good point. And we can only control our part of it anyway. I choose to stay married though and to work on myself and hope dh continues working on himself and together we work on our relationship. Today I actually thought that perhaps whatever it is dh is waiting for proof of might be proof that he can be a better person in our marriage, not so much that he was testing me and my capacity to change. And then I thought that actually I wouldn't want him moving back in immediately anyway, I would want to take it slowly, spend more time together and increase that over time to make sure we cement better habits of behaviour towards each other. Hmm, something to consider.
Useful session with IC, I didn't even get to today's blip because I was so busy telling him about all the GOOD things which happened to me and with dh last week. It reminded me that today was just a blip and I'm much stronger now and even though I had a good cry it was only half an hour of wobbliness rather than days or weeks.
I have stuff to consider about my tendency to run away when I get triggered and how I can change that and ask for what I need. In the meantime I'm looking forward to our date tomorrow night.
