AnotherStander, we be dropped the I want to fight for the M and go to counseling bomb, I said nothing.
Oh good, sometimes no response is the best response! I like it!
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Of course he could have been joking about taking a job elsewhere. Like I said he’s a big joker. But the problem is his behavior has been so unpredictable that I’m not sure what to take at face value and what not.
This "big joker" thing makes me think he's a classic passive/aggressive "nice guy". They often hide their intentions behind a joking facade so that if they don't get the response they're looking for or if it blows up they can always fall back on "oh I was just kidding!" I'm not buying it.
Dear God sorry for the typos! Lol!
You may be correct AnotherStander. He didn’t bring it up again yesterday so who knows. I’m not really convinced that he’s actively looking for a job in another state. I think he may have been throwing that out there to see how I would react. I kind of started it when I asked him was he thinking of applying for one of the jobs. So again, I’m not sure how serious he may be. It’s possible he’s considered it but like I said, who knows. I honestly think he’s still trying to figure things out.
I think he’s caught between thinking there may be something out there better for him and I could be making the biggest mistake of my life if I leave her. He thinks there is something out there that will make him happy. He needs to learn that happiness can’t be bought or traveled to. It also doesn’t come from another person. It’s something that is developed within.
I’m also convinced that he’s having an identity issue. He truly has lost himself over the years. I think that he really is trying to find himself and who he wants to be. I’m sure the MLC makes him think that I and our M keeps him from doing that. Again, the more I research about MLC the more my H behavior makes sense to me.
I think I’m handling our sitch in a good way. I’m getting better at just listening to him when he speaks and validating. I read a lot of the advice that is given on this forum and I implement it in my sitch. My only option is to continue to take care of myself and let him figure him out. Wherever the chips fall I have no control over.
I guess the good thing is ALL is not bad. We still have lot’s of moments where we laugh and enjoy each other’s presence. We seem to still have a decent friendship. So only time will tell how this journey ends.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
