My bank just rang up, they were sniffing around our account and our chap wanted to know what the monthly amount was for dh's flat, we talked to him a while back about potentially buying a flat so he wanted to know what was going on and whether we were still thinking about it.
I just hate having to lie to people or evade the truth when I never asked to be in this situation. I feel really upset that I've been put in the situation of lying to people all the time. I never lie, I hate lying. I hate dh for putting me through having to lie on top of abandoning me.
I have even lied to my FAMILY about this (they live overseas so this is quite easy, though it does mean I haven't contacted them much at all). Dh said I should talk to them 'to get their support' but I can't because if we R they will HATE him for doing this.
I have lied to dh's family about this (well, evaded their questions). Dh has not mentioned it to his family (they aren't close) though his brother has visited him at the flat so he knows something is wrong and has clearly told the rest of the family. Then MIL patronised the crap out of me and I rang up and cried at dh. Luckily I see MIL once a year tops. And that is too often.
I have never been able to talk openly to the kids about this.
This is all just too much for me today. I'm stressed already with work stuff and this has sent me over the edge.
Just needed to vent so I don't ring up dh and cry my eyes out over it.
Luckily I'm going to see my IC this afternoon. I can have a good cry about it then. In the meantime I need to pull myself together and go to a course.
UGH!
I was feeling pretty good this morning, I didn't ring dh but we texted and I booked ds2's birthday party for a few weeks' time, dh is coming and ds1 and a bunch of friends of both of them. I was feeling quite chirpy and now I feel like this has thrown me into a flashback from when dh first left, all wobbly and flailing and tearful and fearful.
UGH!
Right, venting over. Might practice the 4 5 8 breathing in the car.
