A familiar story with questions NINE

[RR17]

Thanks for the compliments.

Not sure I agree on the last point. I think some have dropped the rope completely, and to great effect. I remember dropping the rope in my sitch and it was a freeing experience. It is funny, more often than not, those that truly drop the rope, are surprised at how the WAS comes towards them instead of away from them. I guess it is all part of the pursuit-distance dynamic.

I think it depends on one's definition of dropping the rope. At times I have moved farther away and yes W does move closer. W moves closer and I try to respond positively to her actions. Perhaps I need to continue to move away.
My problem is after being in limbo for so long when I see results, I gain expectations. I have also obviously grown tired and even knowing that expressing my feelings to her is not DB protocol, I feel the need to let her know. Call it self-care. It is not often, but I am human. ( like telling her that I was uncomfortable regarding her trip)

I honestly believe there are 2 separate dynamics involved.
The physical acts of dropping the rope and the ultimate act of giving up on this person. Both you and I have discussed un-enmeshment. I believe I have made major strides in this area. W and I are both two separate people. 99% of the time I don't let her actions affect my well being. Boundaries
When I do slip, I post it here. I have become so consistent that I don't share my well-executed interactions, only my failures.
I see a whole lot of improvement on her part. She listens to understand and when I communicate effectively she shows an effort to meet my needs. This is huge. I really don't think she does it to avoid making waves as LH19 has suggested. I think she is trying in her own stubborn way.