A familiar story with questions NINE

[RR17]

So W returns from her business trip last night. She is worn out and without doing the math, I asked if the jet lag + time change worked in her favor or against it. While explaining it, W stopped and asked why the look on my face. I said no look. I was trying to make sure she was done talking. I have a history of mistaking your "commas" as periods and just wanted to make sure you were done talking before I speak. W accepted it and I went to bed.
This morning after driving carpool W comes into MBR to tell me she is going into work but that she didn't know how long it would last. I responded "Are you really that beat?" to which she went into a defensive explanation of what all she did and reasons why she was so tired. 25,000 steps each day, long hours etc. All the things that I was unaware of.
I asked why she was so defensive? That I was unaware of the reasons so I inquired.
W said it was the look on my face. And that she wasn't out late parting every night. That's where I stopped her. I said "I never accused you of those things." and if you misread my facial expressions, it is beyond my control.
Well, this leads to a discussion about how whether or not another person can make you feel a certain way.
I'm sure you can guess how that went.
During this discussion, I asked "Is it possible that you misread the look on my face based on things I said before you left on the trip. In her hurt look, she said yes.
I told her that I was sharing concerns and that even though I truly want her to be happy, that I sometimes still felt the threat. BesidesI wasn't telling her something that she didn't already suspect. You do not get to restore trust without doing the things necessary to restore trust.
She just stares.
It is obvious that she wants to lob a grenade and walk off as usual.
I said, "Wait a second, do you see the dynamic here?" "If anything, I didn't feel suspicious until you became defensive for, what I feel, is unjustified reasons." "I have accused you of nothing."
Well, she looked defeated.

Anyway, she left for work. I am the bad guy because of the look on my face. Sure wish she would own her own feelings. Sure wish people didn't expect results without doing the required work.