I think, the reason I am struggling with the co-parenting boundaries, are because today I realize, what actually went down. How little it took, for her to drop the rope on her family and 13 years. Having only been back working for 3 months from maternity leave, she began a PA with a coworker. And with my "new" eyes, I simply pity her. I have realized, that my problems were my demons to work with, and I did, however, she has some major issues on her own, and they are hers to fight with, if she ever realises.
I realize, how badly I was treated, discarded and dumped on the street, when I was at my lowest, and needed her love the most. And yes, I know it must have been terrible to be with a partner that is going through depression, but even if that ment we had to part ways, it definitely did not justify the way she went about it.
Hurt you didn't realize this today, you have posted this several times and you just keep spinning this over and over. You went through a rough point in your life and when times got tough she bailed on you. Could you have been a better spouse, absolutely, we all could have been a better spouse. Forgive yourself and move forward.
Originally Posted by Hurt213
2. I feel like she feels justified with her decisions, and she is perfectly in her right to do so (can't change another person), however I see it differently, and I dont want to come off rude (again f*** her feelings really, but I dont want to harm our co-parenting relationship for the kids sake), however I need some advice on some good boundaries / sentences that will allow me to make it perfectly clear, that 1. we are in this for the best of our kids, so they can have a great life with good rolemodels. 2. Thats all I want from you, and other than that, I really have no wish for you being in my life, the way you treated me.
The problem is you are still afraid to hurt her feeling or make her mad. Again, you caused this by going to the amusement park together. One minute you act like its ok to be a family and then when you realize it's not changing anything, you get pi$$ed off and ask how you can make it clear that we are not a family anymore?
Before I answer your question, how is she trying to be in your life other then co-parenting? Give some specifics?
In general it is pretty easy to co-parent. You discuss kids and the logistics of the kids. Say hi when you see her and bye when she leaves. Say thank you when appropriate. Be cordial when in the same room together. That's about it.
Hurt you keep taking one step forward and then two steps back.
