I am sorry Juju you have been so upset. I agree with both don and kml. You sure didn't reflex break up with the guy. You thought it out, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, you tried to figure out ways to make it work. But in the end, I do agree with KML. He is abusive in a sense. He was a gaslighter big time. You did the absolute right thing for yourself.
You are an absolute fantastic mom. Never should anyone, especially someone you trust and love ever make you doubt that, criticize, or stop you from being proud of yourself and son. I think he might secretly doubt himself as a father. A partner should be someone you can share your love and pride of your kids with.
As far as never criticizing anyone's parenting? I wouldn't unless it was for extreme reasons like the ones Don used as an example. Something harmful, yes. Criticizing really good parenting? No way. I remember FF criticized my parenting, A non-parent, A young non-parent who thinks they all have it figured out before they become one. That put a bad taste in my mouth. Dating someone who isn't your kids parent is hard. When they come in later, they don't know all you have been through, the child's sensitivities, their quirks, which battles you choose. When my daughter was extra bratty right after she came back from her dad's, i cut her some slack. The transition was rough on her. I got that criticized and did not like it.
Regardless, this is a sad time, and I think you will be starting to feel better soon, even relieved. I do think you focused so much on how he was the opposite of you ex, that you thought he had to be a perfect fit. It takes a heck of a lot more than them being the opposite of our ex's. I appreciate that M is totally calm, empathetic and laid back, unlike my ex, but that doesn't make him the perfect partner. It's a trait I regard highly and is very important to me. Just in a human being and not because he is opposite of my ex.
One thing I would love to see for you (and for myself, actually) is to stop doubting yourself so much. I am going to post about that in my thread, because I am equally guilty, But we need to really trust ourselves a whole lot more.
I swear, one of these days we are getting together!
Oh, and P.S>, I caught the circumcision comment too and I couldn't stop laughing. I am the queen of autocorrect mistakes, but that one takes the cake!
