Settling In (LB55 Thread 3)

[LB55]

What a crazy 24 hours. No I didn’t have sex with my W. I did have some actual conversation, about 15 minutes in the driveway last night when dropping the kids off. She let me have them for a couple extra hours, gave me some items from the house, worked out a deal for me to have my son on Thursday and to have my daughter next week one night. Made a plan to pick up my motorcycle, and she will even give me a ride to the house to get it. It was crazy, she hasn’t spoken to me other than via electronic methods since thanksgiving. She initiated it and we talked a bit about how both of us contributed to this, she apologized for lying to me; it was good. However she still doesn’t see that this is still her choice and the consequences she is suffering from are from her choices. I didn’t point that out; just listened and validated her feelings. We talked about the temp orders, she was surprised that I told her about the monetary details and the proposed time with kids and the proposal to come to the house and get some things. She said our proposal was to come to the house when she wasn’t there and take everything I wanted. I calmly explained that the way the orders were written that I would come to the house, take stock of everything, propose a list for agreement and come back a different day to get those items. It seemed as if she had no idea what was in the orders.

Then I get an email from my L today saying we are going back to court because they don’t agree with our temp orders. I sent W an email asking what is up with that and can we discuss it? She called me and we talked for 2 hours. Turns out she never even saw the orders proposal. Her L just said ‘no’ and never even asked her for her thoughts. What a POS. This explains so much about our legal communications. He hasn’t presented her with any info since the initial filing, instead just working to keep her angry at me through poor twisted communications.

This is incredibly frustrating. She has been getting goaded into a continued fight that she doesn’t want, and he is just taking her money. My L knows now too, and is encouraging my W and I to work out some of the legal details without wasting more money. My L isn’t a money grubbing POS thankfully. She makes plenty don’t get me wrong, but she acknowledges that we are just wasting our money for things that don’t need a L.

We had a lot of good conversation today about the last year(2hours of call) things we have both done right and wrong, and it’s so evident that I have made progress to me, validation, communication, not solving her problems for her, listening for a couple extra seconds to make sure she is done before replying. It was nice to talk with my friend, Ive missed that.

Not reading much into it, as she is still whining about money and how I am trying to starve them out and stuff. We did have some productive conversation. She acknowledged my commmunicationw have improved, and that I looked good in my new clothes, it’s nice to know because I feel good in them. She said I won’t be single for long, then later on some hints at something maybe in the future. Not reading anything into it, but it was nice that we could just talk. I could sense some tension building as we tried to discuss finances so I ended the call nicely and efficiently before any progress made was lost.

She is really struggling under the weight of her choice but I can’t help with that. She can’t see that her choices have caused her problems, not going to point it out either. Has to realize on her own. It was nice to have a sign of life out of her. Might be a storm again tomorrow but a little calm is nice to have.