I am so happy that she was reasonable about the bags. Your children shouldn't have to deal w/that issue in school.
As for her being flat broke, well, she needs to learn to manage her money. If a divorce should take place, she needs to realize that you will not be there to save her each and every time she has no money.
As for spring break...enjoy the time you spend w/your children.
I think you did a great job of not taking her bait. Keep up the good work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
W asked me to pay for kids daycare during spring break, which is her week. I am keeping then 3 extra days and told her she needs to pay for care during her week. She then asked me to pay for half.i declined and she surprisingly paid for it.
Suitcases for the kids have incorrect clothes, mismatched tops and bottoms, etc... IDK what is going on here. This has been an area she usually did well. Also, oldest mentioned shes been tardy to school several times, but teacher isn't counting it. I need to look into that.
As for the kids, took them to a theme park and they had the most fun they've ever had. I got season passes (even one for W) so they can enjoy it this summer. We are going back today and then a drive through safari thing tomorrow. It's been a blast.
Good job with the daycare charges. That is her responsibility and you let her look after it. I think you know it isn’t about money. Had you paid, she’d be asking all the time, and not growing up.
To the mismatched clothes. I watched my W revert to a teenager (even younger at times) attitude, style, and dress. My daughter experiments with different looks, colour combinations, make up, etc... and so does her Mom. The fashion trends and cool new way to do something, is ok (sort of, within reason) on a teen, because the rest of the herd are doing it. However a 48 year old women doesn’t pull it off very well. Still the day she went shopping in just tiny shorts and a bra is a bit beyound mis-coordination. But I digress....
As you said, your W used to ensure correct clothing. She could have been tired, not be responsible, or lashing out, or thinks she is following a cool fashion idea. It is pretty amazing how much an MLCer becomes the opposite of who they were and on so many different levels and outlooks. What do the kids think about the clothing?
The tardiness is a different matter. Well same matter, different priority. Again W is not ensuring things are done correctly, on time, etc... That is pretty normal for an MLCer. You do need to look into the school attendance and get the actual facts. What days, how late, how often, etc... I would ask the school to inform you and W every time kids are late or missing school. Expecting the kids to attend school is not unreasonable. And yes that expectation will be missed at times, and it will drive you crazy, however that is one expectation that is not negotiable - it doesn’t remain at zero.
To soften that a little, 100% compliance with punctual attendance many be a little hard to achieve when dealing with W. Depending on just how often and severe the tardiness is, will allow you some freedom in where you draw that line in the sand.
In my experience all the school staff were very understanding. Of course, they all know us, and were totally blown away at what W had done, and all kept an eye on my kids. Showing up late for some classes (not the start of the day) was overlooked - sometimes my kids just had to go and cry in the bathroom or be angry for a spell before getting back to learning. Luckily, or unluckily, I live in a small town and W ensured the entire town knew what happened. Between that and her actions, I didn’t have to explain to much about my and the kids’ lives, and the problems interacting with W.
Well done with the theme park season passes. Getting one for W is a nice touch - for you, her, and the kids. I know you have heartfelt compassion and as I said with the daycare, this is not about money. Buying her a pass is great for the kids. I hope she uses it with them.
What are the kids favourite rides? Rollercoasters? Spinners? Swings? What about Hamburg, what is his favorite ride? And don’t say the park bench. Even though after hours of keeping up with your kids that bench becomes really attractive.
Have a great day.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
I am so glad you didn't pay for the daycare when the children are with her. She needs to grow up and take on some responsibility and not look to you to be her savior on all things.
As for the mismatched clothes. You might want to consider purchasing some clothes for when the children are with you. Now, just be prepared that if you send those clothes home with the children, they will not come back as a matched set. I would keep the clothes at your place for when they come to stay with you.
I'm so glad that you and the children had a great time at the amusement park.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Another conundrum. Child #1 birthday is a few weeks away. Previously, W spent MONTHS planning this stuff. W informed me she has no plans. Child's interpretation of what mommy told her was she will have a family part with mom and sister only.....at the house. She's not allowed to invite any friends or have a party outside the house. I am willing to do whatever it takes to throw her a nice party somewhere. Previous parties have been extravagant and always at home. W was the envy of the entire school and was known for her party planning. I am willing to involve W in the party but I may have to just do it myself. At what point is it safe to just pick whatever child wants, invite whomever she wants and just give W an invitation?
Even though after hours of keeping up with your kids that bench becomes really attractive.