Hurt213 I think it's their maternal instinct., as a father you can give them all the reason in the world to trust you by your actions and they still won't completely trust you. My WAS on my IHS has been challenging my parental abilities for the last 2 months and most of the last year. I think that one mothers go through separation, and or divorces they redirect their love on to the child what they used to provide to the husband. Some fathers like myself do the same, as I know I've become more affectionate with our son as a result. About five times in the last two weeks I had to put my wife's perspective in check on how I'm handling our son, that's just because it's not her way it doesn't necessarily make it wrong.
My wife is also a teacher and a behavior specialist so she does have a lot of qualified background, but I think she still goes overboard with her "qualifications" basically she gets paid $60,000 a year to offer opinions to people and education plan, for children with behavioral problems in the classroom supporters on the autism spectrum and other issues.
Just this last weekend it was my weekend to have our son. Sometimes our son gets into a phase where he is either looking for attention from one of the adults and he will forcibly show it by turning our chins towards him forcibly with his hands to get us to look at him., or he will throw a tantrum if he cannot find a distraction such as toys nearby that satisfy him so he'll run around the house and keep looking for distractions to satisfy him. Usually the distractions do the trick, tv, toys, parental attention, etc, but when he gets to the point where nothing satisfies him, he throws tantrums. So I did an experiment intuitively. The irony of all this is my wife and I agree that bad behavior shouldn't be rewarded but ignored. My wife is a walking hypocrite of everything in our marital history even parenting, but she doesn't trust my ability to parent from my school of tough love. Ironically, she doesn't practice what she preaches at home. My wife has no issue ignoring his cries when she puts him down to sleep and she says walk out of the room and ignore him and he'll fall asleep and it works. But when I put him in his playpen for a timeout while he's throwing a tantrum I'm the bad guy.
I wanted to ensure that he didn't get to the habit of throwing a tantrum every time he wants something. When he reached that point I put him in his playpen and I let him cry it out, and she objected. my argument is our sun is just starting to come into his emotions and he knows what power he has with them. Her argument is he's just a year-and-a-half he doesn't know what he's doing. which I will agree with to a certain extent I let him cry it out for about 10 minutes until he stopped and then I took them out of the playpen and he was acting just fine after that. then we played together and had a ton of laughs. But apparently I'm the one that's emotionally and socially awkward and inept and emotionally abusive, according to the rewrite of our marital history from the WAS. As long as you are not neglecting your child's needs and meeting all of their needs while also properly and judicially disciplining them raise them your way on your time, and take a stand on it. If the other spouse disagrees come to some type of resolution reasonably otherwise do it your way, because their maternal Instinct and they're hurt from the dissolving marriage they will fight against you no matter what you do.
