MLC? Confused what to do (Part 2)

[SoTorn]

Ok, so this may be a long one but BLUF (bottom line up front), she will be moving out on a temporary basis after more discussions. So how did we get to this point...

So I have been talking to my BIL since he used to be on this very forum when he was going through this with his ex wife and my sister. So I was talking to him on the process of giving her the dissolution or divorce options this coming Wednesday. I was talking to him via Facetime Audio most of the day off and on.

Around 6:30PM or so, one of the D7 fell off her chair and hurt herself. I was up in my room at the time. I got off the phone with BIL and went to check on D7 and my WINO went off on me saying "She's fine, Anthony. Why don't you just go F* back to chatting to whoever you were talking to"

I just sat there like WTF and waited until she got the ice pack for my D7. I then followed her up the stairs and asked what that was about since she did it in front of all three children. She said that she looked at the phone bill and saw that I was talking to her dad. She then started yelling saying I am done. I am done. Leave me alone, etc real loud. I asked her calmly if I could come in and talk to her. I told her it was important and I needed to talk to her. She finally let me in. All I told her was that I was going to wait until Wednesday to talk to her but I wanted to tell her that we can either do a dissolution or a divorce. She said dissolution. She said a few more things and I told her that I don't want to discuss that right now and that she was acting very immature. She said that me talking to my BIL and sister is unfair because they only hear my side. Then she says that she only has talked to two of her friends. I told her they know everything and then said we can talk some other time on dissolution. That is when I typed up the dissolution message previously.

I left the room. I spoke to the BIL and as I am speaking to him, my sister gets a text from my W. BIL is good on diffusing situations and helped my sister type up a response and W and sister exchanged a couple texts. BIL told me to just stay away from her since emotions are riding high.

I went back to my room and next thing I know, I am getting a knock on the door and the W is there. She comes in and first starts talking about a dissolution and her thinking is that the house would be too much for her to take care of and the three kids need to stay there. She mentioned just letting me have the children and house. If I am ok with her keeping her part time job during the dissolution. I told her I have no say what she does on keeping the job, etc as that is her decision.

Somehow as we talked, it transitioned or she mentioned that is the reason she wanted to just have a separation because of the issues we have had. I told her, I understood, but since she only allowed me to have a legal separation and it was advised against from the attorney, it was a non starter. She then said, no, I wanted to do a separation away from the legal system. I told her that is not what she said in that text letter she sent me.

We then went down that path that I am open to her moving out and seeing where it goes from there. I told her my one non-negotiable was that the OM never meet my children. If I hear and I told her they would tell me, it would be straight to divorce.

We spoke some more on her getting mroe information from the apartment place and getting a budget together.

She wanted to make it clear to me that this had nothing to do with the OM and this is about her never being on her own since she went from her parents house to living with me. She has never been in control of her own life as she said. She said if the only thing that happen between me and her BFF, she would have been able to forgive me. But the yelling and screaming and drinking over the past 1.5 years has traumatized her. She is saying that is the reason that she is not able to forgive me for now. She also mentioned that she has put up a wall around me which has caused her to put a wall up around the kids too.

I believe it has to do with the OM still and still in this fog that I am this hateful person. Our last 1.5 years had some up and downs. There was some arguments where I yelled and screamed. We also both drank a lot. Again, my last drink of alcohol was 28 Jan. I have been calmer. I am still working on some other things. So I would be curious if you still think this is WW behavior, Sandi. She acts like she will not be able to forgive me and this has nothing to do with OM and she doesn't believe in soulmates, etc.

It has everything to do with the OM. My WW said the same thing when she moved upstairs. My WW was finding herself, she said we were married too young and didnt have a chance to find ourselves, that she has no plans or future with OM, that she was doing this for her".

Guess what? She still full tilt in A with OM to this day, in fact, she is flying back from a spending a week with him which now includes the weekends. My WW used to only travel during the week, since Valentines day she now travels for the entire week including Saturday and Sunday.

She wants to get away so she can further her relationship with OM. Period.