As your W said, we only hear your side, and you've made reference of having something else to work on (other than drinking). Anger issues, drugs, or whatever else may be in addition, only raises the risk factor.
So, I still feel that both of you need time apart in order to deal with your issues and heal as two separate adults. As long as you are under the same roof, your deep wounds stay afresh.
I was referencing the NMMNG and getting my B@lls back as you put it. Working on my fear of abandonment. She has admitted to hitting me. Even the text to my sister. I have never retaliated when she hits me. No other drugs or anger issues. I have actually been calm. Just wanted that to be clear.
I think it will be better her moving out for a while. How long, I don't know. But she can't get in until possibly Apr 1st. I will continue to try and detach in the meantime. MC was cancelled but I am going to meet with her 1 on 1 to help me work on my fear of abandonment issues that caused problems in the relationship. I have my normal IC on Wednesday.
I had forwarded to my BIL her plans for the week where she was telling me when she was going out and for me to plan around it. One example is tomorrow night at 8pm, she was going out. On a work night and the kids have school the next morning. She puts them on the bus. I didn't respond to her email. She asked if I got it.
SHe is now putting a budget together for her apartment. Asking my advice on things. At one point, she thought it would only cost about $675 a month for her to live. She estimated $30 a week on groceries but then only accounted for $30 in her monthly number. I think $120 is wishful thinking on groceries a month. She also asked about gas. I told her it depends on how much going out she will be doing. Also, eating out, etc. Other than that, I haven't talked to her about that. I have about 3 weeks of her in the house before potentially her moving out. I will continue to just do what I need to do and go from there.
