Good job with the daycare charges. That is her responsibility and you let her look after it. I think you know it isn’t about money. Had you paid, she’d be asking all the time, and not growing up.
To the mismatched clothes. I watched my W revert to a teenager (even younger at times) attitude, style, and dress. My daughter experiments with different looks, colour combinations, make up, etc... and so does her Mom. The fashion trends and cool new way to do something, is ok (sort of, within reason) on a teen, because the rest of the herd are doing it. However a 48 year old women doesn’t pull it off very well. Still the day she went shopping in just tiny shorts and a bra is a bit beyound mis-coordination. But I digress....
As you said, your W used to ensure correct clothing. She could have been tired, not be responsible, or lashing out, or thinks she is following a cool fashion idea. It is pretty amazing how much an MLCer becomes the opposite of who they were and on so many different levels and outlooks. What do the kids think about the clothing?
The tardiness is a different matter. Well same matter, different priority. Again W is not ensuring things are done correctly, on time, etc... That is pretty normal for an MLCer. You do need to look into the school attendance and get the actual facts. What days, how late, how often, etc... I would ask the school to inform you and W every time kids are late or missing school. Expecting the kids to attend school is not unreasonable. And yes that expectation will be missed at times, and it will drive you crazy, however that is one expectation that is not negotiable - it doesn’t remain at zero.
To soften that a little, 100% compliance with punctual attendance many be a little hard to achieve when dealing with W. Depending on just how often and severe the tardiness is, will allow you some freedom in where you draw that line in the sand.
In my experience all the school staff were very understanding. Of course, they all know us, and were totally blown away at what W had done, and all kept an eye on my kids. Showing up late for some classes (not the start of the day) was overlooked - sometimes my kids just had to go and cry in the bathroom or be angry for a spell before getting back to learning. Luckily, or unluckily, I live in a small town and W ensured the entire town knew what happened. Between that and her actions, I didn’t have to explain to much about my and the kids’ lives, and the problems interacting with W.
Well done with the theme park season passes. Getting one for W is a nice touch - for you, her, and the kids. I know you have heartfelt compassion and as I said with the daycare, this is not about money. Buying her a pass is great for the kids. I hope she uses it with them.
What are the kids favourite rides? Rollercoasters? Spinners? Swings? What about Hamburg, what is his favorite ride? And don’t say the park bench. Even though after hours of keeping up with your kids that bench becomes really attractive.
Have a great day.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Even though after hours of keeping up with your kids that bench becomes really attractive.