Midlife crisis wife

[Wolfman]

Sandi,
She does teach in public school. She teaches 5th graders and does complain a lot about her job. From what she has told me about her job she has a ton of paperwork and that her desk is a mess just like our home. She is stressed from her job. She always talk about her job, so yes is the past there were times I would make a face because that is all she would want to talk about. Looking back, that was a mistake on my part. I needed to listen to her all the time, instead of sometimes. I feel she does lump everything together and all her problems just get directed at me.
The validation is helping me. Yesterday she was in a bad mood and was on the attack. She expressed how angry she was all the time. So I asked her to explain what makes her so mad. She said why couldn’t I have changed a while ago, she wanted me to be like this a long time ago. And she doesn’t believe that my changes are real. She said no one changes lol me that. I said I understand your concerns but I told her I could truly understand if this was only for a week or a month but it’s been months I have been doing theses things (I know I got away from validation for a second). She says it shouldn’t have gotten to this point for me to make these changes. I agreed with her and apologized for not seeing my faults. One of the things that is driving her nuts, in the past when she would yell and scream I would yell back, now I stay calm validate and give her boundaries. When she yells, in a calm voice I ask her please don’t speak to me that way, in front of the kids I ask her to not yell in front of the kids. She tries to push my buttons and there are no buttons to push anymore.