I guess I'm more nervous about the months afterward, what living in my house will be like, how W will treat me when I'm home...
She may give you the full meal deal before time to leave again. Here's the thing, you have determined your actions based on your W's moods or treatment toward you for so long, it is ingrained to plan everything accordingly. However, if you are separated, then I would think you are free to basically plan whatever GAL you like. However, I think you may be more concerned about how to interact with her while in the house together.
The 37 rules is a guide that many people have found to help them have an idea of the do's & don'ts at this point.
If I may give you a piece of advice, I'd tell you to .remember your moral courage and spiritual beliefs. Don't compromise your integrity. This is the biggest thing I see going on with newcomer LBH's. They want the W who doesn't love them, and they jeopardize their own core values trying to cling to someone who doesn't want them. You said you once were a strong man. Find that strength again. Do not seek anything from your W. Let her feel all the freedom in the world. No emotional pressure by saying ILY. No pressure by showing affection. Act in a friend-ly manner, but don't cling to her. Give her all the space you can, but don't feel you must "hide out".
You will probably see all sorts of conduct from your W, which will confuse you. My advice is to stay calm and try not to take every word too seriously. When you see something in her body language that you think suggests she is not as cold as previously......don't fall for it. Just remain calm and act as if nothing has changed......b/c it hasn't. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to make her every move and/or spoken word as some special sign/meaning that things are shifting in the right direction. I wish I could say we see it happen that easily and that fast all the time, but we don't.
You do not have children together, is that correct? Does she normally travel a lot without you? What's the longest stretch of time has she been completely alone while you were away working?
BTW, keep your DR book concealed and if you share the same computer, you probably need to clean the history. Why? B/c when she sees changes in you, she'll start looking. Women are curious anyway. The DB tools are for you, not her. It's not that you are reading anything bad, but when the W discovers it, she tends to scoff and say your changes are b/c you read that book. It seems more effective when the other team doesn't see your play book. Know what I mean?
Anyway, hold your head up, shoulders back, and walk tall. You will make it through this ordeal
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
