Krull, often when we go through this it triggers what they call "situational depression", often paired with anxiety attacks. Thoughts of suicide are not uncommon, but people don't want to talk about it because society attaches a lot of shame and stigma to depression. But depression is an illness just like the flu and can be treated. If you are even contemplating suicide that's a strong indication that you need help. Especially if you've worked out options on how to go about it (that's typically what counselors look at as a red flag that you need emergency care). See your doctor and get evaluated, they may want to put you on A/D's and/ or set you up with some counseling. Don't take this lightly and don't postpone it, the sooner you address it the sooner you will feel like your old self.
