That is so hurtful that the person you always thought would and should take care of you wasn't there when you really needed them. I feel like my dh did similar stuff, he was so wrapped up in his own stuff that he completely neglected me, and then I neglected him, and it turned into a vicious circle of both of us complaining our needs weren't being met but not even trying to meet the other person's needs. You say you're healing yourself, but you won't be able to heal your relationship (assuming that's what you want) without forgiving him. And it sounds like neither of you are willing to make that effort, at least for now. It sounds like you are both too stubborn to make the first tiny move? Maybe it's not what you want, but maybe if you're under the weather now isn't the time to be making big decisions.
