My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 6

[ovrrnbw]

Joejoe,

I'm obviously not detached. I'm better than I was but as anyone can see I've done a lot of the same things over and over.

You have evidence your WW went back by OM house, what is her consequences for doing so? She lied to you, broke your trust, don't respect you.

What are my options for consequences? File for divorce or separation right? Am I forgetting any?

What actions have you done, that's taught here on this site

I was in full LRT mode for a long time, had to go dark a couple of times just to calm down and take some space, I've made new friends, started new activities. I've learned how to listen better, learned why and how to validate feelings. I've stopped pursuing, I've detached to the point where I don't argue or logic with her when she brings up divorce.

And yes, just because you aren't the WS don't mean you aren't to blame for the position you'll are in right now.

I agree. I've owned all my bad behavior. We probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for me acting so selfish, rude, and overbearing. But maybe we would. That phrase is W's and her parent's way of ignoring her affair. That's why it pisses me off.

I don't want to divorce. I know I'm scared of it. But I'm guessing that's what everyone is saying is that I either have to file or I'm showing her that I accept this type of treatment or marriage.

I have to talk to lawyers this week about it and my priest as well.