Rocky Road 2

[Miler]

Quick update:

Things continue to progress in a positive direction. It's slow, but it's moving forward. We are having much more conversation. She is always warm, open, and engaged...which is different than what's it's ever been. We decided to go our for a couple of beers on Friday night. We ate dinner with the kids, then went to a new bar. We sat at the bar and had great conversation. She opened up about a couple of books she's reading, then about anxiety related to some new technology she's having to use at work. It's getting easier guys!!! My need to fix it for her or tell her it's all going to be ok had slid into the background. I simply validate how it is scary with new technology and that leads to a vulnerable 20 minute conversation. It's really connective on my end...not sure how connected she feels, but I don't need to know. It's not her job to make me happy.

I have been increasing the number of touch charges..maybe 3-4 per day. She's now a bit responsive, though she has yet to initiate one. As i was leaving the gym yesterday, she gave me a high five...at that point she actually held my hand for a second. Last night before bed, she rolled over and said goodnight and briefly put her hand on my thigh. That's definitely the extent of her initiating physical engagement.

This morning, we got up early to take D18 to the airport for her spring break trip with her class. When we got in the car, she said, we should go grab breakfast before heading home. I said absolutely. We had a great breakfast and I let her just talk about her family (we also briefly discusses a new work opportunity for me). When we got home, I felt myself feeling a little needy (not so much needy as much as looking to her for affirmation and affection). As soon as I had that feeling, I started one of my house projects (ripping out the old starting to rot flower box on the front of the house). She asked if I wanted to go to the gardening store with her, but I told her I wanted to go to the gym before it got crowded on Sunday afternoon. I need to self-differentiation time. I just got back and wanted to update. Now back to the house.

We haven't had anything close to a R talk since last MC. We go again tomorrow, so I will likely get an update on her feelings and reactions. Last session was interesting to say the least regarding her noticing my changes, etc.