Welcome back! I was very surprised to see a posting from you after all of this time. You may remember me as "Snodderly" from back in the day.
I am so sorry that you had to fight for 7 years to get your portion of his retirement. At least that part of the process is over and done with and you can live comfortably and not look over your shoulder.
Of course, you are going to think of your xh for quite some time. You were married over 20 years and in those 20 years, you created a lot of good memories w/the man. It's not going to go away, but as time moves on, the pain will be less and less, but the scar will always be there.
Are you nuts? No, you are human and you are just reflecting back on those days that are gone. Mourning takes years and each person is unique in how they mourn. Some can completely move and not give it a thought and others, well...they mourn for a very long time. Don't second guess yourself. It will take as long as it takes to get through the grieving process.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
