My IC has kind of asked something similar I think. It is unbelievably hard to look after someone who has moved out though! Any ideas for how I do that? I might have been guilty of not looking after him enough, though that was partly because he made it soooo difficult to do (like he wouldn't tell me if he was coming home and then I'd make dinner and he'd get home late and say he was getting a takeaway, it was infuriating). But I would happily look after him more if I could find more ways...
I did wonder whether maybe he was miffed about me not being there when I usually am on Saturday mornings, we usually go for a walk together then. But I arranged this weeks ago, and I do need to see my friends occasionally.
I think I AM chasing him a bit, more than before certainly, but without pursuing and seeming desperate and needy and turning him off (it's a tightrope, I probably fall off sometimes). I send him texts and I reply to his fairly promptly. I ask about his many running injuries (and don't tell him they're self inflicted and how to prevent them). He cut his finger last night so I did the whole there there thing and was nice about that.
I just sent him a text saying that it would be really helpful when we meet if he could let me know in advance when he's going to be leaving if he has plans. He is Mr Punctual and will throw a fit if I'm ever late (and I have made huge, huge efforts to be on time or early for him since BD even though it is difficult for me) but he doesn't tell me when he's going to leave until we meet up, even when he has plans for later. And that makes me really insecure as we see today, not to mention I can't plan anything of my own! And I said how nice it was spending proper time with him last weekend and that I was looking forward to seeing him this afternoon but if I'd known in advance it would have been easier for me (and I think it would, I just felt really rejected by him essentially saying 'you've got an hour'). So I think that will be useful for me, and hopefully for him if I don't get upset. And then I thanked him for making the effort to come and see me at the event on Wednesday.
