I bought the wedding ring for me, I lost mine decades ago. I never replaced it because I used to have bad eczema on my hands and it was difficult wearing rings, but I have worked out what triggers that so rarely get it nowadays. I made a big fuss when dh left and I found his wedding ring, but he told me he stopped wearing it years ago, and actually it made me stop and think that maybe he has a point about not paying him enough attention, because I didn't notice. So I bought myself a new one. He asked me what the jewellery money was and I showed him the ring and he went hmm, and I said I hoped I got him going with the nose ring joke.
Bit of a difficult time today. I went out running with my friend and her gang and we had breakfast and a lovely time, then I went back via the jeweller to pick up the ring, then back home. Dh rang me when I was driving back and was stroppy about me not being home, but I was only about 10 mins after them. Then when I got back he was all grumpy, didn't give me a hug and said 'if you want to go for a walk I'm leaving in an hour' and then I got upset because I thought he was going to stay for the whole afternoon and he hadn't communicated his plans to me in advance. So I was so hurt I wasn't sure if I wanted to go for a walk so we had a bit of a row. He did his whole 'you have such an easy life, I work so hard' routine (which is true but he CHOOSES to work so hard) and I got out of the car and left because I can't do this routine any more. He came back and I said I'd missed him because I'd barely seen him lately and if we are going to repair our marriage we need to spend at least some time together. And he said he was tired and grumpy and he had been here since 8 but I hadn't. And then he said we could meet up for a walk tomorrow and I said let's do both, we'll have a quick walk now and then another walk tomorrow, which was ok with him. So we had a short walk and a catchup which was fine, then I got a proper hug goodbye and see you tomorrow.
So hmm. Not sure I handled that as well as I could, my default behaviour is to walk away and I have to stop doing that and come up with an alternative way to handle conflict and getting upset at feeling rejected. We did repair in the end but he wasn't as good at repairing as usual because he's exhausted. But then he's always exhausted. I did express my feelings as positively as possible, and I didn't get as upset as I have done in the past, so that was positive. And he did compromise with meeting up tomorrow, which is good.
Anyway, I feel calm enough now, going to go get some work done now and then make a roast dinner for the kids.
