So...today I went to my lawyer’s and reviewed the separation agreement. If I had done this two months ago, there would have been tears and overwhelming sadness. Today...just signed and initialed and headed back to work. No sadness, no anger...just acceptance and, dare I say it, detachment. So good to feel good again.
So...I had my date with country music guy. Kept my expectations low. We met at a pool hall and he beat me...lol. I didn’t play well. I kept feeling his eyes on me and it was very distracting. He’s obviously played a few games of pool too. He joked that I owed him four makeout sessions...lol. Anyway, I was a bit worried he might be somewhat creepy given how flirty he was in our texts. Happily, he was not. He was a bit flirty but very respectful and super nice. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything like that but I did enjoy myself and I think he did too. We left the pool hall after about an hour. There was a cute young guy in his 20s that I had chatted with briefly when I walked in and he kept coming over to the jukebox and getting me to pick a song for him. After about the third time, my date looked like he was getting a bit annoyed...lol. He asked if we could maybe go to a coffee shop somewhere to talk so we found a Starbucks and talked until they closed and we got kicked out. He gave me a hug at the end and I saw him kind of hesitate like he was thinking about kissing me but I hugged him quickly and told him we should stay in touch. So... I don’t know. I didn’t not like him at least. Anyway...at the very least, I may have expanded my circle of friends. We’ll see if he contacts me again.
So...dating prospect #2... super fit guy from my home town. He texted me on and off all day today. He talked about forming a friendship but I think he is a bit concerned I may not be into hiking and camping enough for him. He’s probably not wrong. I’ve certainly done my share of trips into the outdoors but not for many years. I used to be a counsellor at a militaristic outward-bound type program for young offenders and it was not very well run. I had some negative experiences and left that job with borderline PTSD. So haven’t done much outdoors since. But if I meet this guy and we click personality-wise, I would be open to doing those things again...just maybe not as much as him. Guess we’ll see.
Driving home from my date gave me lots of time to reflect and check in with myself. I know there is always a worry that someone in my position will go for a rebound relationship but I honestly feel like that is not where I am at. This is really different from when I was in my late 30s and worried I might never have a family. I remember really wanting to find someone. It’s not like that now though. I am pretty happy with my life and where I am at. I don’t need anyone. I am feeling a lot better about myself than I have in a number of years and I really just want to meet new people and date. If I find someone that I REALLY click with, that will be a bonus, but I’m not looking for it and I don’t need it. Honestly though...I did have a great time tonight so may go out with him again if he asks.
