Why can' t i get raid of this anger??

Ex-h has been making D16 feel bad everyday for a week now.
For her birthday ( which he missed by 3 days ), he got her a winter jacket on-line.
He took her out for supper and gave it to her. It was too small.
All week, he wanted to bring her the exchanged jacket but D16 was working 3 evening shift and the 2 evening she was off were not good for him. Frustrated from this, he started telling her he should not keep her phone going since she never text him. An hour ago, he shows up with OW to pick up D16 for the evening and D16 did not want to go. She made him wait outside for 10 min. She told me at least 3 times: " i don' t even want to go! And his jacket? Winter is over!! ".

I could feel my anger raging inside. Why do they put up with this?
Why don' t they tell him? Are they still unable to say no to him? Why are they the one feeling like crap because of his narcissism and hurtful comments?

Will the day ever comes when they will say ENOUGH!!
My day came! I did it! They saw me do it! They did not want him to come back and live with us but they accept this treatment?

I get soooooooo angry! The wheel: D16 felt bad. She felt like she should go with him eventho she did not want to. He will spend heavy cash on her. She will feel like she must be good and text him more often until he starts ignoring her texts. She will pull away and he will make her feel bad all over. If he feels she is angry, he will use emotional blackmail to get her sympathie. I can not see how healthy having a relationship with their father is.

Not in a million year would i have thought this would be my life.
No matter how hard i try to cut myself from him, he is contantly thrown in my face

Ex-h calls this love. I call it obsession/ addiction. Love is time, love his kind, love is respect, love is devotion, love is bringing the best out of others, love his emotional support, love is honesty, love his priority.

Ex-h' s relationship with us reminds me of an addict parent who will claim loving their child but won' t get the help they need to be a parent and will often use their children as the reason they are the way they are.. just like I AM THE REASON EX-H IS WHO HE IS!! Powerful me!! Arrrgggg...