blackmac, do I detect you being happy about this possibility?
I wouldn't say "happy", but more like "well, that would be funny in a cosmic sort of way". At this point, I have zero interest in her coming back (it would take a miracle for her to even begin to realize what she would need to do to win me back). My interests are solely to keep S safe and get some serious healing time for myself. It's been 1 year and 14 days since she walked out. It's been 1 year and 3 days since I found out about OM #1 and the narcissistic abuse started against me in full force. Over the past year, I've been documenting, recording, and researching to come up with a plan for what I need to do.
Last night, I went for a drive. S was at W's house. I decided to wait till "overnight" hours and drive past to see if OM #4 (confirmed, but who knows how many others there have been) was there. He was not.
But OM #1 was, because he's now dating her roommate.
I grabbed some pics of his car there, and this morning I sent them to my attorney, and sent them to W in the court monitored app along with the court order that would make that a violation. She denied that he was her paramour. I responded with text messages between her and I, a description of our conversation, the fact that she admitted it, the fact that I had confronted him and he admitted it, and some extra texts to show her gaslighting me afterwards.
The rules state no paramours between 10pm and 7am on the same premises. She said he wasn't one. I sent the definition of a paramour.
Right now, I'm all for ending this whole ordeal. It's been a total nightmare for over a year now, and I just want some peace and for her to stop the mental/emotional abuse.
So, I don't care if she's preg. That's on her. I would have to wait longer for resolution, but then she'll have to deal with the fact that she clearly DID act out, and everyone can see it. She's great at hiding the things she has done, calling me abusive, trying to make me think I was crazy. That game is over.
Do I still love her?
I don't know. I love the person she seemed to be. But this person isn't that person. This isn't my W. She's the mom of my S, and I'll always encourage them to be close...but I will absolutely hold her accountable for her bs, because what she's done (and continues to do) isn't good for S to be a part of. I'm not having that.
