I still see myself as a Newcomer because not sure if R is on yet.
Things have been better lately, I am still seeing the remorse and acknowledgement of damage and pain caused. She has take 100% accountability for her actions and I have validated and responded with acknowledgement of things in our MR that may have led up to her actions that I could have done better.
I have not been to IC in a month but am rescheduling soon but honestly my best advice comes here. There have been very small instances where we have talked details of things that have happened...not her specific actions with OM but more of the when I knew she was 100% lying about where she was going and she could look me in the eye and still do it. Places that they had been and I can't even drive anywhere near them etc. There is literally have of the county that are triggers that I avoid!
How do I address this with her...are these all things that will happen in time? I know it has only been 21 days since she saw OM and when I BD'ed on her and hopefully shook her out of the fog. Is this me being impatient again? We are doing normal things together again, she wants to be with me all the time. She had said she would talk with someone with me, a pastor, a MC, a support group. When do I start looking at those options?
Honestly and I know it will still be a while, I do not trust her even though she has made some big changes. She has given me access to her bank account, she wants me to manage her money and put her on an allowance...she knows she was out of control and wants us to do this together. All good signs....but she needs help...we need help.
I know long road....doing my best.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
