Just don´t give a f... Be there for the kids and be sure to acomplish all the legal liabilities. The boat has sailed for the rest. You can´t help her, in fact you need to stay away. Sure she doesn´t want that, she just wants to keep control of a non existent marriage.
The solution is up to you Si. YOU need to let her go. She is gone, and has been gone for a long time now.
You save yourself first, your kids need a healthy parent. Get some lawyer advice and set new boundaries. Protect yourself and the R with your kids.
Move forward from that man. Enjoy your kids, enjoy your life.
