Wolf, we have all been there...if it is not the clothes it would be something else. It is the most bizarre thing you will ever experience as you see all of the good things that you have done in your MR get rewritten in your Ws head.
Yeah there are things that we all could do better and should have done better, or shouldn't have said or should have said differently in our MRs. But the the only thing that matters right now is that this is really happening and you do have to take the steps to be prepared for any outcome. I am not putting myself on a pedestal and say that I am perfect but I cannot fathom how my WW could have ever done or said most of the things that she has over the last 10 months. It is a total loss of reality including respect for her two kids.
All I know is I was lost in months 1,2,3,4,5 totally and have now only in the last few months fully embraced DB'ing. The concept seems so crazy yet so imperative. Everyone jokes if you love someone set them free....haha until you are in that situation, it is not easy but until you can get to that point you will never understand who you are.
I thought I was there many times that I had emotionally let her go, she would leave then I would take her back, leave then I would take her back, wash rinse repeat. It wasn't until she left and I said why, why am I doing this, no I don't want you back this is over....not to get a reaction out of her but because I was better than that, my kids do not deserve this either. Let's get this over with and move on so that we can live the lives that we want separately.
It wasn't until that point that she was shaken so bad that maybe she will not leave again.
I'm not sure exactly where your W is right now and if any changes you make will make a difference with her but you will see it have effects on you. The way you look, the things you do for you and your kids, your outlook on life. Make the changes that make you happy and your kids happy.
It's hard to shake them when they get like this and there is no guarantee but DB'ing is the only thing that has saved me. My MR.....still not sure where that is...but my kids...and me...we're good right now, that's all I need.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
