hey ovr, thanks for the concern. just been busy lately with GAL and of course focusing with D14.
first and foremost, WW has stopped going into T with D14. WW thinks progress isn’t going to happen (i guess she’s srill the same person, if it doesn’t go her way, she walks away). secondly, she finally decided to get an L, i got a phone call from him yesterday and he wants me to sit down with them and discuss the terms with regards to the D.
i have already expressed my terms with WW. i want full custody of D14, sign a waiver that D14 will be the 100% beneficiary of my 403(b), (she’s contemplating on going to med school) and split debts in half, and of course child support for D14.
WWhas stopped paying half of the mortgage, which is kind of a burden now. she used to write checks for the bills, and the mortgage. but she decided that we need to put the house on the market (we just got it april, 2018), and that’s when she stopped paying her half of the mortgage.
funny thing about it is, since she moved out (august, 2018) and stared living with POS, the checks that she was writing doesn’t include any $ for D14. am ok with it. i had to keep on reminding myself not to ask for support for D14, when the time comes she wants to fight custody, i can use that against her.
when i got the phone call from her L, i wasn’t surprised or was anxious about it. i told myself that whatever happens, i will be ready and accept any outcome. but what got me yesterday was, i worry about her trying have custody of D14, wherein D14 really doesn’t want anything to do with her. D14 despises her, and the R between them is non- existent.
i know i may sound vengeful and angry, but frankly speaking, i am not. i have to respect D14’s wishes. i cannot and will not give in to the notion that D14 needs her mother. as what i’ve said, there is no more mother-daughter R between them. hence the request for full custody. maybe in the future, when D 14’s wounds have healed, i can ask her to spend time with her. but as of now, i don’t want to succumb her to a life of anger and misery just so i could satisfy my “ good co-parent” image.
after this long post, my question would be, is it a good idea to go and sit down with WW and her L without having any L with me? I would like to go, sit down, express my terms again, and not say any word. if they don’t agree to my terms, i walk out. would this be a good idea? or should i start retaining my own L and let her handle it?
TLDR. sorry. off to taking D14 to a cruise for her spring break. i would try to be hanging around here as often as i can.
