I've seen many LBSs here find out later that their WAS his finances from them, ran up debts in their name, drained savings accounts of kids' college accounts etc. Consult with an attorney and find out how to protect yourself financially. This is job number one. You can't count on him not to make very bad decisions financially and at your age it would be very difficult to recover from. Protect your share of the assets and also find out what your financial picture in divorce will likely look like so you can begin to make plans.
I appreciate your advice. I think I've been very savvy in this department. I've run credit checks on him. I have printout of all our investments latest statements. My kids college funds are secure too. I've even ran all the numbers for how much alimony I will need to keep the house. All bills are collected, itemized, etc. I've looked into health ins. with my job (I'm under his now). The only component is his retirement with his job. That's the biggest. I only have the year end statement, and no access to it. So that's my biggest concern and most important item I need to freeze. So, seeing an attorney about this is my last step.
Originally Posted by kml
Also - if he DOES show signs of wanting to come back - don't settle for less than him going to a full on 12 step sex addiction program.If he's not willing to do that and confront his demons you would never be able to trust him again.
I agree 100%.
So, it feels good to start formulating a plan and make a few decisions. I have another week before I see the attorney, so I can do a little more research.
I have a question for anyone (in the U.S.) that froze assets prior to filing for D. Can you write in it an agreement on how much money we are allowed to take out of our joint account each month (where our paychecks still go)? It's a question for the attorney, but just trying to write this all out in advance on how I would like it to look.
DnJ - I will heed your advice. "let him go. Do not interfere with his journey, it is futile. Let him walk his path, he needs to, he is driven to. Let karma and life challenge him, and force him to grow. You walk your path, and have no hand in his downfall, he can own it all."
It makes perfect sense.
I am going to add strong to my list of qualities! 😊
